Speaking from experience, and like many women, I found single life really daunting at first. Roxy is the complete opposite – she’s now very happily married but she adored her single life and milked it for all it was worth. She definitely knew how to be single and happy. Even though we’re sisters, we’re very different. She possesses a huge amount of self-confidence and has an assured attitude that I couldn’t fake however much I tried. I’m more reserved. I definitely have confidence and body issues and am far happier when I’m with people than when I’m alone.
Being newly single was scary and jarring.
I came across an article in a magazine on how to be happy on your own that really made me see my life differently and made me want to start exploring what I could do differently. Here I want to share a few things that have really helped me to embrace my new single life.
Don’t be afraid to do things alone.
This sounds obvious, but for many people, it can be a really unnerving thing. You might feel like people pity you, or that they think you’ve been stood up on a date. Ignore them! Now is the time to do things you want to do, go see that chick flick at the cinema, or eat at your favourite restaurant for a change! Enjoy your own company. Roxy says that the fact you think that people are thinking things doesn’t mean that they are – and she’s right.
Don’t be cynical.
This one is hard because there are times that you feel hopeless and times you will be disappointed or feeling lonely. Don’t lose hope, take the time to praise yourself and regain a social life. Your friends have a great way of making you see yourself, and your life differently.
It’s weird at first but it soon becomes quite liberating. It’s a new found freedom that works to your own schedule and you can spend it doing the things you’ve always wanted to do.
What are your dreams, goals and desires? Explore the little nervous things you do and why you do them. Who are you and what do you need to feel complete? This is something that can only come from you. Take some time to find yourself while you are single and you will have totally different expectations for your future.
Foster other relationships.
Family and friends are there through everything. Relationships naturally ebb and flow over time so enjoy the time you have. Give undivided attention to others when you are with them, cherish your time with them and be grateful for their support. When you’re in a relationship, especially at the start, the amount of time you spend with other loved ones is the first thing that gets neglected.
Learn to feel.
Another obvious one. Don’t let feelings build up. Jealous? Angry? Excited? Whatever you feel, acknowledge it. Decide what it means and what you’re going to do with this knowledge. If you want to cry, do it. It’s ok! You’ll likely feel a hundred times better afterwards!
Meet new people.
I am really awful at this but it’s something I am working on. Just talk to different people, someone in the queue at the supermarket, or a mum at the local park. Step out of your comfort zone and lose the self-consciousness. Model yourself on someone who is really good at it. When you’re in an uncomfortable situation think “what would ………. do?” And then do it!
Did you meet someone you really liked? Did you accidentally like a photo of theirs on Facebook whilst snooping? These things happen! But really, what do you have to lose by just telling the person you like them? Wouldn’t you like to hear it coming from someone else? Be honest if you have feelings for someone.
On purpose! Do something you would never normally do, like karaoke. My absolute, total, phobic, worst nightmare! Bonus points for doing it sober!
Live your life, enjoy it and don’t be too hard on yourself. You will no doubt screw up a few hundred times along the way but that’s ok! Try new things, if it doesn’t work out it’s an experience you can learn from and not repeat!
Above all – don’t be afraid to be single.
Use the time to develop yourself into the type of person you want to be and do all of the things you’ve ever wanted to do. Learn to love yourself before you invite someone new into your life. And don’t ‘settle’ just because you’re scared of being alone. I promise you can be happy and single!
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