Yay! I actually found time to carve out the second part of my blog today as I’d planned. It’s been a busy old day; a friend visited me this morning and then I had lunch with the lovely Suzi from Step Into Your Success. We both brought our babies along – and they behaved like angels! Barely a peep from either of them so we had plenty of time to natter – and discuss business with a baby of course. I came home, the Health Visitor came – yay Finn weighs 10lb 2oz – and now he is fast asleep and I have a cuppa AND my laptop open – which is definite progress!
It’s getting easier.
That’s the first thing I want to say. Finn is 4 and a half weeks old now and I suppose we’re finding a routine. Not one that is based on time of the day I hasten to add. Just one where I know what Finn will allow me to do. I can recognise when he’s settled down for a decent sleep, and I’ve had to change my style of working around to fit in with him. That’s been a big learning curve for me. I used to like doing certain things at specific times of the day and I’ve had to change my pattern. Like writing this blog – I much prefer to write in a morning but I’ve got to adapt.
But it’s not easy!
After saying all that I want to add that I’m still bloody sleep deprived. Of course I am – he sleeps in two-hour stints. He feeds a lot. So I’ve learned to listen to audio books or watch course videos instead of being frustrated that I can’t work. I’m up a lot of the night with headphones in listening to a podcast of some sort.
Don’t bother having a real plan.
I recorded my first video for The High Heels Society on Monday. I had an idea of what I wanted to say and had planned it out. However – you can watch it here – it didn’t work out that way! Finn woke up and ended up being held for the whole recording. I was so annoyed at first, and then decided that I just had to go with it; otherwise I was going to put off doing it and I really, really wanted to get it done. The quality is bad, but I’m real and genuine and it made me laugh a lot.
The standards that you hold have to be lowered.
I’m late. All the time and I hate it. It’s not me and not how I operate. But I can’t tell Finn he can feed later – if he decides he’s hungry ten minutes before we leave, then that’s that. I can feed and be late, or torture both of us with his screaming. It takes an hour longer than I anticipate to leave the house – especially if I have both of my boys. Though 30 minutes of that is Charley deciding which ridiculous plastic toy he wants to bring and then negotiating with me about how many he’s allowed.
“Mummy I want to bring 5.”
“You can bring 2 darling.”
“Just 2 or none sweetheart. We need to go.”
Cue changing his mind.
“I want a book instead.”
“OK monster man – go and choose one.”
“This book Mummy?”
“No chance baby, it’s got jigsaw pieces in it and you might (will definitely) drop them in the car (and then scream blue murder for the 30-mile journey).”
“No angel, that’s a sticker book.”
And around we go again. When eventually we leave with a zebra, a tractor and a Quality Street (I ‘treat’ him to the fudge ones Tom and I don’t like), we’re late, Finn is hungry and I’m breathing through the stress as if having a contraction.
Business with a baby is about adapting.
I don’t think I realised this until this week. I assumed Finn would fit around me, but in reality, to make life work it’s me who has to adjust. Once I realised this my life seemed to become a little easier. I tried to stop resenting Finn for ‘stopping’ me from doing things and tried to figure out what I could do in which time slots. Cutting myself a little slack – even in business was essential. It was easy for me to do it in life, but when it came to work I love my business so much that I hated how fragmented working has become. I like to start a task, and then finish it. But I now have to resign myself to the fact that I may well have to do things in stages, even though it drives me crazy. I had to write this blog in two sessions but it’s no worse for it. It’s just an inner need to complete things that I recognise that I have, and that I have to work with.
It’s not forever.
I must utter that one little phrase about a zillion times a day. Every time I’m frustrated at not being able to do what I want to do, I say it over and over again. I look down at my little baby who is already over a month old, and I look at my two and a half year old and realise that time flies. It doesn’t seem like it at the time, and it frequently feels like I’m stuck in Groundhog Day, but it really all does happen in the blink of an eye.
And of course, I remember the most important thing. I intentionally created my business to work around my family, and then I resent my family for getting in the way of my business. Clearly, I’m just never satisfied!
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